


Touch of the Wolf

by FugitiveArchivist



Series: Wolf [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2013-12-13
Packaged: 2018-01-04 12:16:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FugitiveArchivist/pseuds/FugitiveArchivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius thinks of Remus and Azkaban post PoA. Very brief.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Touch of the Wolf

**Author's Note:**

> Great thanks to Lassenia, the archivist over at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), for saving this one and many others by importing the works there to AO3. I had lost many of these files and was very happy when they popped up on my AO3 account.

Twelve long years I spent in pain and despair, stripped of everything good in my life. All I could remember was Peter's shrieking in the street as he betrayed me like he betrayed James and Lily. And seeing James and Lily's bodies. I remembered the great gash on Harry's tiny forehead. But more often than any other memory I saw Remus' face the morning after I sent Snape to the shack under the light of a full moon.

Peter who I had assured James could be trusted had turned on him and his wife and child. And then he turned on me. Not for some injustice done or some fit of anger but to save himself. I remember screaming myself hoarse as I remembered it. Revenge for what he'd done became an obsession.

James and Lily among the rubble of their home. They looked so much like they were only sleeping. I wanted to shake them awake, to take back what had happened, for it to not be my fault. I clutched James to me and called him my brother one last time before making the vow that kept me sane, the vow to avenge what had happened to him.

Harry bleeding from a cut that looked as if it should have killed him, and that had been intended to. He was so small and frail and vulnerable. I wanted to take care of him. To take him home to Remus and nurture the last bit of our friends with all my heart but I was denied it. Hagrid took him to Dumbledore and I was left to make insane promises to my dead friends and ruin the last shreds of my life.

Remus' face full of hurt and confusion as he realized he hadn't imagined the smell of human the night before. He forgive me once he knew why I had done it but in that moment his hurt was so raw and unadulterated. That I who he loved above all others could have done that to him. I deserved his hate for what I'd done and all I could remember of him was that moment in which I was sure I had it.

I spent twelve years in the cold and the dark alone with those thoughts. Then I spent a year hiding from the world thinking of nothing but killing Peter, avenging James and Lily, saving Harry. Then just as it was coming to me Remus did something that brought back the good memories and the warmth in a flood, he hugged me. One simple hug, the mere feel of his cheek against my ear, his hair upon my cheek and a rush of good, happy memories came to me. For Twelve years he was the worst of my torment and in twelve seconds he became the air I breath, the beat of my heart. And now at long last I can return to him.


End file.
